Article : Friend or Foe ? Why most people you know really WONT support your dream; at 1st
Updated: Dec 12, 2019
This article is intended to speak to and help creatives out with some moral support on the matter of gaining support for growing their audience and brand.
We work with tons of different artists from different backgrounds, genres and so fourth, and the issue of "my friends/family don't support me" has to be one of most common reoccurring patterns we hear amongst artists and creatives.
Whilst it may seem like a fairly light hearted observation, it can leave many artists heavy hearted and later, angry or resentful that they didn't get the support they are certain they would've given to others. Bare with us briefly and allow us to articulate a point that will no doubt be of great help to you along the way.
So before we touch on the more accusatory issues we would like to make it very clear that the healthiest thing to assume is that there is some kind of misunderstanding.
Whether it's communication or technology itself there are multiple factors that can lead to people close to you either not seeing or acknowledging your efforts and most of them are not that sinister.
Patience is a virtue...
Intent is everything in this world, it is unhealthy to simply assume that because things are not going the way you would like them to, there is negative intent behind it.
This is a defeatists mindset and look at this way, you are not going to instantly change everyone mind who thinks negatively of you, but by assuming that every instance is from a negative place, it will only reproduce more negativity.
Whilst on the other hand, if one remains patient, you may discover later that the people in question have other reasons for not supporting you at the time.
This leads us right into our next point, "what reasons" could there be to not support someone you know that is promoting every day ? Well for starters, they may not even be seeing most of your posts.
Social media sites generally only share your posts to a fraction (Between 1% and 15% organic (unpaid) reach depending on your accounts standing within its respective media/social media platform) of your following/subscribers and begins to rank your content based on how those initial few respond.
If your content was first shown to people who do not know you or engage in your content routinely, they may just scroll by it without actually caring that it is you. This in turn can lead to more people you know not seeing your posts as your organic reach (how many people you reach just by posting and not paying for promotion) will be capped.
Other than this, there is also the factor that what your doing just may not be a reflection of the type of person someone else is trying to be/or portray online. For example, if you have a music video full of "gangsta" / "ghettoised" themes or just generally low quality visuals /audio and you have a friend who is using their social media to generate professional work, depending on the style of brand they are building, sharing your work may, or may not impact their own audience base and consistency, do not take this personally.
In the same way you are building your own brand, be considerate that others around you are doing the same and your visions are not identical. People will respect you alot more for this than.
Lastly, on the matter of feeling "unsupported" by your social circle, understand there is a deep infusion of personal bias that we all hold to some degree in our minds and our hearts.
Those bias's are built around a number of things but for the most part you can recognise this; often when people cannot accept you trying to change or develop yourself, it is largely because they are not (subconsciously) willing to see you in a new and different light from that which they already know you.
While the others were general, Personal bias is always personal to you and honestly, it is the usual culprit driving peole that already know you to not feel motivated to support your growth, yet often (but not always) their ignorance to your change is unintentional, its sub-conscious.
Words rarely reasonate as a strong signal of massive action to most people so it will take strongee results/examples than average to convince people who have already built a foundation of bias's against.
Whether its that they can only imagine you 'as you are' or they are insecure and fear the prospect of you outgrowing them, people often subconsciously resist change in many different forms purely for the reason that it is uncomfortable to them, so even though it IS personal; it woukd be wise to not take it too personally.
Further to that, if what you are trying to achieve is disproportionately a leap from what people are used to your patterns/habits being, Can you really be surprised that it's going to take some convincing ? More convincing than somebody who doesn't know you (hence the popular rant of "strangers will support better than friends") and is simply going off their first impressions of you (1 to 15 according to Market Research).
It's not a matter of friendship but just human wiring. Your habits, your patterns and what people "know you for" will have take a greater effort to change than it would to convince someone new that this is "you", to someone new you are essentially a blank whiteboard.
For someone new it's simply a decision of whether they like/stand for what your brand does, for someone who knows you, that consideration is far more complicated. There are layers of personal objections that must be overridden before they can accept 'this is you now'.
It's worth noting that this issue of bias isn't just about haters or jealousy, and more about how people are wired generally, it could be your mother, father, best friend, brother, sister (ironically the closer the ties, the harder it tends to be to break the bias).
This isn't even a matter of choice, in fact in instances where we have seen independent artists get support from their inner circle, you may notice that it's always a handful of people at odds with "the crowd".
The sad and the good news...
Firstly, lets address the sad news, once you have produced these huge results, it does not at all guarantee how any individual you know will react and that is purely because of their own emotional disposition. Each person is coming from a different perspective so how another person's success/progress affects them will be unique to them. This means that no matter what you do, some people just WON'T support you, and may go as far as resenting yout. But sad news aside; Thats ok, you can actually use such traits to your advantage.
This leads us to the good news, now you may notice that almost everything we have talked about the "unsupportive" people with negative biases. Notice, it's almost always about THEIR emotional state, precisely.
So stop placing so much responsibility on yourself to impact these specific people's emotional position, to ask for support is not a crime, but to beg for it will certainly impact your sense of self worth.
Instead, focus on the very thing that makes yourself and others uncomfortable, growing OUTWARDS. Remind yourself that you are not hear simply to reach people who already knew you; if that was the case it would easier to do Karoke at your local bar.
The objective of being an independent artist is almost always simply to get your music "reach new people". Keep reminding yourself of this and it gets easier to block out the noise of being ignored, of being criticised and all the other unpleasant experiences that come with starting from the ground up.
So whether your issue is people with personal bias or a technical Misunderstanding. Beong able to distinguish between people who ARE interested in your music and those who are not is a huge data advantage.
We strongly advise you to shed your sense of reliance on a small social sphere, and instead focus on reaching outwards. Whether business, entertainment or music, the principle remains the same; its a numbers game. Each product will set its own standard for conversions but the equation remains the same.
Product + Marketing X Numbers = Consumption
Thank you for reading and good luck on your journey